Joel Bauer is a pompous douchebag, but a hilarious pompous douchebag.
In this video, he goes off on buisness cards: “This is the most impressive buisness card I’ve ever seen. It’s mine. It took me twenty-five years to design this.”
That is just one of the many, many amazing lines in this video. Wait till you hear [...]
Putting out “roommate wanted” ads can attract all sorts of people. This guy wants to make sure his apartment stays zombie-free. Gives a whole new meaning to “no smokers”, doesn’t it?
No, this is the best April Fool’s gag. The Guardian abandons print and switches exclusively to Twitter. Seriously: ”JFK assassin8d @ Dallas, def. heard second gunshot from grassy knoll WTF?” Fucking LOL.
Screw TinyURL. I want a freaking huge URL. Click here: http://www.freakinghugeurl.com/refer.php?count=4&url=VjFaV2IxVXdNVWhVYTFacFRURndUbFJVU2xKbGJIQkpZWH
BHYVZZd05UQldiVEZ2WVVVeGRHVkVSbGhoYTNCMlZGWmFkbVZXV25GU
2JYQnBWMGRSZUZZeFVrcE9WMUpHWkROc2FWTkdXbWhWYWtaYVRVWlN
TRTVWVG1sTmF6VkRWVVpSZDFCUlBUMD0=
“So NASA, I urge you to heed Congressman Fattah’s call for democracy in orbit. Either name that node after me, or I too will reject democracy and seize power as space’s evil tyrant overlord. Ball’s in your court.” - Stephen Colbert (Via MSNBC | Previous)
According to the Bullshit Detector, Joystiq.com has a larger bullshit factor than the Canadian government’s communiqué outlining its stimulus package. Cookingzombies.com has a Bullshit factor of 0. Straight shootin’, bay-bee.
ScreamBody is a portable space to scream. Whenever you get that uncontrollable urge to scream, but cannot due to social constraints, screaming into this large, testicle-shaped device around your neck will silence your cries and record them for later “release.” God bless the Internet.
(Via The Presurfer)
In my mailbox today, I recieved the most unintentionally gay ad ever (click for full size).
Awesome: Enough members of the Colbert Nation mobilized to secure a victory for Stephen Colbert in a NASA contest, thusly naming a new module destined for the international space station “Colbert.” Har! NASA reserves the right to pick a name which they feel is appropriate, though. Aw.
Of all the institutions, all the organisations, all the groups across the world vying for support to maintain their operations and relevancy, I can guarentee my staunch and unwavering endorsement for the Corduroy Appreciation Club. (Via The Presurfer)
The top five scariest words on the web: 1. Suicide; 2. Alone; 3. Dope; 4. EMO; 5. Bully. Emos are scarier than bullies. Bullies, seriously, you’ve gotta ramp it up. (Via Punknews)
Rorschach’s journal on a boring night: “Idle chatter. Teeth shining behind false masks of pleasantries. The dim insanity held barely checked behind their eyes. Their every twitch screaming. Screaming for release. Screaming for a cease to this mundane existence, plagued with the disrespect and wasteful edicts of the new Kings. 327 she calls. It is [...]
Did you really think that Lexcorp would be safe from the global economic downturn?
Tricell Progenitor Virus Detection & Suppression Kit. I want one, so I called the number on the back of the packaging shown on the picture. The recorded message told me that due to a high volume of calls, all their Tricell Technology Associates were currently busy, and that the current wait time was 72 hours. [...]
Most hilarious thing I’ve read all day: Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne tearing up The Arcade Fire on Rolling Stone Dot Com:
“I’m a fan of them on one level, but on another level I get really tired of their pompousness. We’ve played some shows with them and they really treat people like shit. Whenever I’ve [...]
